Thursday, January 13, 2011

Will BJJ Help Me In A Zombie Apocalypse??

My town has been flooded for about a week. And one of the many well wishing txts i got from my mates got me thinking about something. Yes I'm safe from the flood waters but I'm not sure if I'll be safe if a Zombie plague breaks out.
Sure Zombies are slow, stupid, unco, and can be pulled apart with a bit of force. But one bite and you're screwed. So what skills do I have to fend them off?
The first thing I think of for Zombie defence is cardio. One has to be able to run good distance at a steady pace to keep ahead of a pack of hungry zombies and while I can run at a good pace I'd have trouble keeping it up for a long time in my current physical condition.
So I may have to go to the 2nd line of zombie defence, Shotgun. Hands down the best way to rid your area of pesky zombie hoards is a shotgun blast to the head, but unfortunately I don't own a shotgun.
3rd line of defence has to be a bat. One good crack upside the head with my Kookabura Big Bird cricket bat would dislodge an undead head real nice. But if i drop my bat,
Then it's 4th line of defence, hand to hand combat. Now things get tricky. In a normal fight I would throw some hands look for a takedown. and try to catch a submission but as slow unco and stupid as zombies are it only takes one bite.
Say I get a nice single leg takedown then pass his undead guard go straight to mount. Might work some ground n pound till he gives me an arm. Then I go for the armbar but I pull his rotting arm off and as I adjust and transition to the triangle he bites me on the doodle. I'm done for, even if I choke the shit out of him and elbow his head to pulp. I'm still intimately infected with the zombie plague.
Zombies 1 BJJ 0
Even though BJJ may not be use full in hand to zombie combat I still think my 2 years of BJJ training are not for nought. I'll be able to think clearly under pressure and use my functional strength that I have gained from grappling to help me survive in the apocalypse. But i think the kicking martial arts would be your best bet in hand to zombie combat. May be some Muay Thai or TKD to dislodge undead head with solid high kicks from a safe distance.
So what have I learned from all this,
1- I need to work on my cardio
2- I need a shotgun,
3- I should work my stand up more.

C u on the mat,

Zombie Cage Fighter!!

This Guy Uses His BJJ Against Zombies With Some Success (but he is a black belt)


  1. You can't have zombies. The flood has washed them all out to sea! If there were any left, they would be as soggy as conflakes in milk and wouldn't need much of a kicking to dispose of.

    Obviously you can't get to work (being flooded and all that), so you have spare time to go looking for zombie youtubes ;-). I suppose you can't get to training?

    We have flooding down here in Vic as well but not on your scale. So I guess I'd better watch out for zombies!

  2. Hi cy, You have a point. Zombies would get washed away very easily and i'm sure soggy zombie is easy to kill.
    Yeah i couldn't get to training. It's an hour from here and i would have needed a hovercraft to get there. But the Highway is open again today, woohoo!! So i'm hoping to get to the open mat Sat morn.
    Remember Cy in the post Zombie Apocalyptic world Cardio is king.